Who Does This?

So, for my low-key Halloween costume this year, I did this:

Apparently, you can't only purchase two googly eyes from Walmart. Which is fine...I figured I'll get the big pack, stick them in my purse, and anthropomorphize random things as I go about my travels. Like you do. 

However, since Halloween, they've been sitting on my bathroom sink, because I'm a slatternly wench who never puts stuff away. And while I was brushing my teeth the other day, I noticed something. 

Do you see a problem here? Because I do. A very large problem.

If you didn't get it yet, don't feel bad, because it took me several days to notice. To notice that, less the two googly eyes I used for my spider hair, there were seventy-five googly eyes originally in that package. 

Seventy-five. Seven. Five. A number not divisible by two. 

I tell you, if I didn't believe that true evil existed in the world before, I do now. 

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