Thursday, February 12, 2015

My Thoughts On Fifty Shades Of Grey

Disclaimer, right out in front...I have not read the books. It is therefore possible that I am wrong about the following; however, I've done enough research to believe not. 

The reasons why I haven't read them, though, are becoming more and more relevant, and so I'm throwing my two cents in. 

I wasn't much interested when the books came out. Romance and erotica really aren't my thing; I like my books to be about something more than just a relationship. Then I heard they were BDSM, and my interest really bottomed out. To each their own, but my tastes are about as vanilla as you can get. 

The buzz kept growing, though, and my curiosity returned, so I talked to a friend who had read them. The more she described them, the more alarm bells started clanging in my head. 

This doesn't sound like romance, or even BDSM, I thought. It sounds like emotional abuse. 

As far as BDSM goes, I probably wouldn't even know which end of the paddle to use, but I am, unfortunately, very familiar with emotional abuse. So I kept reading articles, snippets, blurbs. Most were just making fun of the books—how badly they were written, Ana's peculiar verbal tics—but underneath, I kept seeing glimpses of something more sinister. 

Now, there's going to be a movie. Based on the press I've read, it's probably going to be a really bad movie. Still, people are going to watch it. Some of them vulnerable. Those vulnerable people are the ones I worry about. I just don't want anyone looking up at that screen and thinking, so, that is how it's supposed to be. This is normal. This is love. 

It's not. Any relationship that demeans or degrades you, which makes you feel unsafe, is not normal. Any person who withholds affection as punishment for supposed transgressions, or threatens you physically, or restricts contact with your friends and family, does not love you in a healthy way. 

They do not need to be tamed. Your love will not save them. Their love will likely hurt you very badly. If you see echoes of your own relationship in that of Ana's and Christian's...find help, and get out. 

No comments:

Post a Comment