As Far As The Headlights

Friday, August 8, 2014

Wait, what?

Did you ever realize something, and then realize you really should have realized that something before, and then feel really stupid for not having realized it already?

Today I read an article about a man who lived on a tropical fish farm. The following is a conversation between myself and my more cynical self (you should easily be able to figure out who's who).

Me: A tropical fish farm?? Why am I not a tropical fish farmer? I've never even heard of such a thing.

Me: Seriously? You worked at a pet store for, like, two years. Where did you think they came from?

Me: Um, the tropics?

Me: .......

Me: And, you know, the divers would go down, um, with their little nets, and, um...

Me: .......

Me: Okay, okay. Jeez.

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Things I Learned From My First 10k

Last Sunday, I ran my first 10k.

That's me in the bright green tank top, #162! Photo by A J Lipe.

For some people, I know, a 10k is no big deal. For me, though, it is. I only started running less than 18 months ago. Running doesn't come easily to me, either, not like it does to some people. I'm extremely slow, for one thing, and for another my brain likes to get in the way.

So, I'm feeling pretty darn proud of myself, and chock-full of newfound knowledge, which I hope will help any other newbies contemplating the big 1-0.

1.) Don't cram. I had it all planned out. 12-week training program, customized and plotted down to the day. Then summer happened, and the heat (I really don't do well in hot temps) made long weekday afternoon runs impossible. Then, of course, we put our house on the market, blah blah blah...and then suddenly it was mid-July, and I hadn't yet run more than four miles at a clip. That gave me one month to build up to six miles, without stopping for a break. Did I manage it? Nope. And that caused me more anxiety than was necessary. Be aware of the timing of your race, and follow a training program.

2.) Announce your intentions to race on social media/to anyone who will listen. If I hadn't, I probably wouldn't have raced. But the prospect of very publicly failing to do what I'd vowed was more daunting than the possibility of, you know, maybe dying on the course.

3.) Pick something fun. I'm very passionate about animals and conservation, and the fact that there would be animals nearby got me stoked enough. But I did a 5k at the LV Zoo earlier this year, and was super impressed by the atmosphere. It was a giant, friendly party, and an absolutely gorgeous course, beautiful enough to distract from the discomfort and nerves.

You don't get to run with bison at any old race!

The atmosphere can either lift you up or drag you down, so make sure you ask around and find out what races really got people pumped. I can tell you I'll be back next year for sure.

4.) Take a pain reliever a few hours before the race. It'll help during and after. Trust me on this one.

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There's No Such Thing As A Good Guy.

I love books. And TV. And movies. Basically, I love stories.

Sometimes, though, I wonder if all those stories are good for us. Because, especially lately, it seems we're having trouble separating reality from fantasy. Like this whole concept of good guy/bad guy.

There is no such thing as a "good guy." There is no such thing as a "bad guy." Not in real life. Whether you're talking about actual people, or corporations, or countries, the fact remains the same. Life, and people, are far more complex. Their actions and decisions as a whole can't be fit into a neat little box of "right" and "wrong." Someone can make the right decision one day and the wrong one the next. It makes them neither bad nor good. It makes them human.

More and more, though, I see people blatantly ignoring facts in order to make those people or corporations or countries fit into the neat categories they expect. It doesn't work like that. That sort of thinking is a child's. Adults think critically, and critical thinking means seeing things for the way they are, not the way you want them to be.

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Playing It By Ear

I've never been able to listen to audiobooks. I've tried them a few times, but my tendency to mentally meander has always been a handicap. I do it while I'm reading regular books, too, but turning back a page or two is a lot easier than rewinding, especially since when I last tried, they didn't have that handy little "skip back 30 seconds" button the apps have now.

But I'm running a lot now, and for a lot longer—I'm talking an hour + on the weekends. I love my music, but it only carries me so far. And as a fervent multi-tasker, I'm always happiest when I can do something while doing something else.

So I gave it another shot, and I am absolutely shocked to discover that I love it. Using Audible's free trial, I downloaded Stephen King's Mr. Mercedes. I've listened to it several times this week—during my runs, including the six-miler last Sunday—and while crocheting.

It's perfect for both. I still can't listen while cleaning or driving, but I gotta tell you, I'm so into it, it's tempting.

That being said, there are still a few things that bug me about audiobooks:

1. You have to be able to turn off. No sneaking a few pages on your phone's Kindle app while in line at the grocery store—audiobooks require a chunk of uninterrupted, dedicated time. Which is really hard when you're dying to get back to the book and see what happens next!

2. They are so. Effing. Long. I'm not quite officially a speed-reader, but I'm damn close. I read Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows the first time in about 5 1/2-6 hours. I'm in the middle of my annual reread (yes, I'm a dork) and I was thinking about getting the audiobooks for next year's, so I could experience them in a different way. You want to know how long the HPatDH audiobook is? 21 hours. I could read the book four times over in that length.

3. And they are so. Effing. Expensive. The aforementioned HPatDH retails for $45. From my meager research, this is not at all uncommon. Most audiobooks are $35 and up. That's where the Audible membership comes in handy; $15/month and you get one book of your choice each month; $22 gets you two (though, seriously, who has that kind of time?). Sadly, Harry Potter isn't available on Audible. Looks like I'll be hitting up eBay for those.

Other than my few gripes, though, I'm totally into it, and glad I tried again. If at first you don't succeed...

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Tuesday, May 6, 2014

First Week Of 10k Training

Subtitle: Oh, No, Not Another Running Post! because I know that's what you're thinking. Sorry. Other than this, there's not a whole lot going on in my life right now.

I started off the week with a 45 minute timed run. It went badly. Very badly. I waited too long that morning to get started, and by the time I did it was nearly 80 degrees and the sun was high overhead. About 30 minutes in, I came down with chills. I had goosebumps all over my arms and legs, too. I pushed through—not terribly successfully, since I had to stop and walk about four times—but I pushed through for a total of 3.5 miles.

Bounced right through my three weekday runs, because we went at 6 pm or later. Even if it's still hot, the sun isn't beating down on my head, which, apparently, is the problem.

Then came Saturday, and I did it again. A 4 mi run at four in the afternoon. Once again, chills and goosebumps, even though my face looked and felt like an infrared bulb. I drank all the water in my hydration belt, stopped several times...nothing helped. So I kept telling myself it was all in my head, and I was never going to successfully run a 10k if I kept letting my brain tell my body what it could and couldn't do.

Weeeeellll...apparently I shouldn't have. Thankfully, I found this out the easy way (Google) instead of the hard way (collapse) but chills and goosebumps are actually a sign of dehydration and imminent heat exhaustion. So, if you should ever experience this, stop running immediately, find shade, and rehydrate. Do not attempt to push through. Ahem.

Now, of course, I have to figure out how the hell to run in direct sunlight. Because I don't know if you've noticed, but the sun? It comes up every day. And it stays up for, like, twelve to sixteen hours. Problematic. I don't know what to do. Salt tabs? Add Gatorade to my pre-run hydrate? At least I have eleven weeks to figure it out. Suggestions are welcome and appreciated!

On a positive note, I am incredibly grateful for whatever genetic quirk allows me to be this pale (like, just-buy-the-lightest-shade-of-makeup-without-even-trying-it-on pale) and still tan so incredibly well. Forgot my sunscreen, and yet, after almost an hour in the sun, I'm a relatively benign light golden-brown.

Total miles: 15.5.

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The Importance Of Playlists

Some people can just run. No headphones, no music, just...go. I wish I could do that, but sadly, I can't. I need the distraction, otherwise I'll start thinking about my breathing and before you know it, I've psyched myself into hyperventilation. Plus, it helps to have something to think about other than "ohgodohgoditHURTS."

Up until a few months ago, though, it never occurred to me to use music as a tool for something other than distraction. That's when I stumbled upon the 150bpm playlists on Spotify. Here's the trick--if you sync your breathing and your stride with a song that has a 150bpm rhythm, you will run a 10 minute mile. Want to run a 9 minute mile? Then you want songs with a 160bpm rhythm. Having tried it, I can tell you it definitely works.

I'm sure you don't have a few days to spare to sit and vet your playlist with a metronome; that's why there are websites like jog.fm. You can also search Spotify for "150bpm" and you will get a ton of playlists.

Sometimes you need pacing, though, and then sometimes you need motivation. Times like my race last week, when I was pushing uphill in my last half-mile, skipping song after song in a desperate attempt to find one to carry me to the top, wasting precious breath cursing because I couldn't. Times like that you need a song that lifts you on a soaring chorus and drops you into a free fall, the kind of song that releases that chilly flood of dopamine that, for me, anyway, is just as effective as adrenaline.

Below, I've posted my new 5k playlist. It's designed to play in order, escalating in intensity; I've broken the songs down into a hot sauce classification so you can see the steps. The more tired you are, the more kick you need. If you plan to make one of your own, though, this is my recommendation: don't just go for songs that are fast. Go for songs that make you feel something. Emotion is a powerful physical motivator. Just make sure the cumulative song lengths match approximately with your mile times.

Mild (steady songs with a good beat, nothing fancy):

Ready Aim Fire—Imagine Dragons

Fire Breather—Laurel

Came Back Haunted—NIN

Medium (stepping up the beat as well as the emotion):

Chemical—Kerli

Locked Out Of Heaven—Bruno Mars

Trouble—Robots Don't Stop (aka Robot Koch)

Raise the Dead—Rachel Rabin

Muy Caliente (this is where the songs go that make you catch your breath. Go for the throat.):

Bottom of the River—Delta Rae

Chandelier—Sia

Everybody Wants To Rule The World—Lorde

Say Something—A Great Big World

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Race Day At The Zoo

This morning, I ran in The Great Ambulance Chase 5k. It benefitted Cetronia Ambulance (specifically, their community outreach and education program). It's a fabulous cause, but the real reason I chose this race is because it was at the Lehigh Valley Zoo!

"Petunia, do you have any change?" "No, sorry, all I have is a $20."

This is only my second race ever, but it's definitely my favorite. It was really well-organized, and the volunteers were so friendly. Also, the organizers get mad props from me, for giving us a poly-blend t-shirt we could actually run in! (Most of the time, you get a cotton tee, and cotton chafes when you get sweaty.)

It matched my pants better than the one I was wearing, so I decided to change.

Public bathroom selfies are SOOO high-class. Also, it was freezing, and I got caught by a stranger trying to warm myself up under the hand dryer. Awkwaaaard.

And the course! OMG, the course. It was the most beautiful run I've ever taken. The loop went through the wooded Trexler Game Preserve, all along the Jordan Creek, over footbridges and even a covered bridge (!). It finished up inside the zoo, with emus and ibex cheering you on through the last leg. Thanks in part to their help, I beat my previous PR by almost a minute.