Google "clover mites," and you'll find out what's wrong with the world

Yesterday afternoon, I was weeding my front garden. I looked down and saw those teeny-tiny, bright red bugs running around on the concrete. You know the ones; I think I've heard them called "brick mites" before. Anyway, I realized I didn't know what they were actually called, so I Googled it. 

As you may have guessed from the title, they're called clover mites. They drink the sap from grass and other vegetation, but not enough to cause harm to the plants; in fact, high numbers of clover mites are a sign of a healthy lawn or garden. They don't bite or damage property; interestingly, it's impossible for them to infest a home, as some strange quirk of their physiology renders them unable to reproduce indoors. 

And, after telling me this, every single page Google returned told me how to kill these "nuisance pests."

...what?

Yeah. They don't hurt anything, they don't eat anything, and yet apparently they are classified as a nuisance because, when you squish them, their tiny scarlet bodies leave tiny scarlet stains. 

And that's what's wrong with the world today. If you can't figure out the metaphor, take a good, long look in the mirror, and consider that you may be part of the problem.  

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Swedish Lessons

As some of you know, I'm married to a Swede. Like, an actual Swede, direct from the country of Sweden.

One of the things that bugs me, though, is that, after almost twelve years of marriage, I don't speak any Swedish. I mean, other than parts of the body and a few curse words. That's just laziness on my part, I feel, and so I've been trying to learn. Well, I've been trying to learn for years, but it's only in the past three months or so that I've made any progress. I can now sometimes communicate in rudimentary, halting Swedish with my husband (which I often have to repeat several times, because my accent is atrocious) and through text message (much easier, since I can check the dictionary first!) I can even make (small, weak) jokes in Swedish. 

What's different this time? Well, I think it's because I've diversified my approach, by using a variety of apps and other resources, which I'm about to list for you. I generally try to do three of these per day. 

Apps:

(Please note, I have an iPhone, so availability might be limited on other platforms)

• Babbel: Babbel has a number of language apps, three which are specifically geared toward Swedish. One is a vocab builder, one is a language/phrase course, and one is a Swedish/English dictionary. The vocab app is a little buggy, but all three apps are really great. I especially love the dictionary--it has all the curse words, too!

•Memrise: Just discovered this one a few weeks ago. Each small course only includes about three or four phrases, but they will be hammered into your head by the end. Good use of mnemonics, too, and a great review program. My only complaint is that the Swedish courses are very limited, and I'm already getting close to the end!

Podcasts: 

Podcasts are great, especially if you're like me and have really crappy verbal recognition. I personally like Swedish Survival Phrases and SwedishPod101. Swedish Survival Phrases is my favorite; SwedishPod101 has a lot of fluff and is constantly bugging me to buy their shit.

Social Media: One plentiful resource I didn't expect is social media, especially Tumblr and Pinterest, though Twitter's pretty okay, too. Search tags on the language of your choice and I guarantee you'll come up with a lot of surprising gems.  

Books/Newspapers: A quick Google search will easily yield you several online news sources in the language of your choice. Try translating just the first paragraph or two of each day's top headline. 

It's also remarkably easy to find children's books in other languages uploaded in .pdf form to free international libraries. Just make sure they aren't pirated sources. Also, steer clear of books in verse, especially if you're a beginner—as in English, the author may have used less commonly used words, or changed the typical word order, to make the story rhyme. 

Another way to use books is to find the translation of your very favorite, well-read book. I actually managed to score Harry Potter 1-6 in Swedish on eBay a few years back. My first crack at it went pretty well, but that kind of heavy translation is time-consuming and headache-inducing, so I've set it aside, and will return to it when I build my vocab a little further. 

Well, those are my tips for language learning. Lycka till!

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The Week In Review (4/29-5/6)

Now that I've discovered I can write halfway-decent blogs on my phone, there really isn't any excuse, is there? I guess I just feel like I'm boring. Ah well, lovelies. Prepare to be bored, I guess?

What I Watched: Percy Jackson and the Sea of Monsters. I didn't think much of the first movie, since it was a badly mutilated carcass of the book, but enough time has passed since I read the books now that I could watch this movie without worries. Good flick, and Nathan Fillion's cameo was, as always, dee-vine. 

What I Read: The Naturals, by Jennifer Lynn Barnes. I waited for a while on this one—for some reason, Barnes's books are always either hit or extreme miss for me—but this one was a definite hit. I also started from the beginning on Cassandra Clare's TMI series, since the last one comes out at the end of the month (squee!).

What I Did: Ran a lot, as usual, though a bit slower, since hubby is trying to get back into it with me after taking the entire fall/winter off. Going forward, though, the schedule should be interesting; I'm taking almost all of next week off in prep for my 5k on Saturday, and then the following week I start my 10k training. 

On that subject, has anyone used the Coach function on Nike+? The convenience is very attractive, but six weeks seems a little accelerated! I know comments don't always work here for some reason, so please feel free to leave a response on my Facebook page (link at the bottom!)

I guess the good news is that this post has given me several ideas for other posts, so check back in soon for more on the progress of my Swedish lessons and other running-related stuff. See you soon!

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Bullshit Prevention Protocol

I love this with all my heart. I wish I could surround it in blinking neon lights. If I had my way, this would be on every cereal box in America. More importantly, it would be a daily pop-up on every social media website. 

I borrowed the above from this blog post: 

http://www.lastwordonnothing.com/2014/04/29/the-pocket-guide-to-bullshit-prevention/, which you should check out; it's an intelligent, quick read. However, the original article is geared toward journalism; I'd like to look at how it applies to misinformation in social media. 

1. Who is telling me this? If you know the person in real life, consider their personal politics and views. Is it possible they believe the link or story without question because it falls easily in line with their beliefs?

If you don't know them personally, take a few minutes to scroll back through their feed. Seeing a lot of suspicious activity? ("Obama is a secret Muslim!") You can probably consider the case closed. 

2. How does s/he know this? What if this person seems pretty level-headed, though? Well, now it's time to consider their source. If they've shared a link, click through (provided your virus software is up-to-date, of course). What do you see? A blog with a somewhat canted title ("liberalsarescum.com")? Misspellings and grammatical errors? Lots of declarations, but no bibliographical links or attributions? Big ol' red flags, folks. Click away and think cleansing thoughts. 

3. Given #1 and #2, is it possible that s/he is wrong? So, you've screened the source individual, and the article looks pretty legit. The writer has lots of supporting links and a fair command of the English language. Now what?

Now we look closer. Click those supporting links and read on. Yesterday, I read a blog post on the dangers of vaccination which actually debunked itself with its own links. Because the writer didn't understand the science behind vaccines and how they work (specifically, the difference between "live" vaccines and "attenuated live" vaccines) and wasn't a terribly careful reader (due to recent travel, the possibility of "wild" virus infection in the child studied could not be ruled out by researchers) the post turned out to be an alarmist bushel of baloney, based on misunderstanding. 

Oh, and by the way...I didn't know the difference between "live" and "attenuated live" either. But, when I found a phrase I wasn't familiar with, I Googled it. 

4. If answer to #3 is yes, find another source. Which brings me to my favorite part ...Google. If you are reading this, you are on the internet, which means you have access to Google. So, for the love of llamas, frigging Google it already! A simple keyword search should get you page one results. And if you can't find a legitimate, independent news source--not another blog, but a newspaper or major media source--to back it up, then don't believe it, and don't share it. Assume bullshit. 

Moony Over Mars

It's been a great couple of weeks for Veronica Mars fans.








First, this happened:

And then, this happened:

Having sampled both, I can tell you they were a-freaking-mazing. I expected nothing less than awesomeness from the movie, but the book? We've all seen novelizations of our favorite movies or TV shows. Has that ever worked out? Ever?

I can tell you now that it has. Exactly one time.

By Chapter Two, it was like coming home. I could hear them all in my head. Veronica's snarky voice-overs, Keith's calm restraint, even Cliff's luscious baritone. It was perfect. Perfect, perfect, perfect. And oh, the plot twists. The plot twists, you guys.

Well, if you haven't read it yet, you're in luck. In keeping with the tradition of the My Favorite Things giveaways, I'll be giving away one ebook copy (ebook only, no physical books, sorry) of the Thousand Dollar Tan Line, as well as one e-copy of my own book, Blind Study.

Just follow the Rafflecopter instructions below, and good luck!

a Rafflecopter giveaway



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Runniversary

It's been a year. One full year since I started running. Kind of appropriate that this happened last weekend. 

I didn't expect it to go this far. I didn't expect it to go anywhere, to be honest. I've tried running before and gave it up every time. Blamed it on my lack of "natural stride," tried to come to terms with the idea that I just wasn't a runner. And ignored that wistful feeling I'd get when I saw someone jogging by, wind in their hair, headphones on.

 

Two important things I've learned this year:

1. I am, in fact, a runner. 

2. Running is a skill, not a talent.

 

What I mean by the second one is this; yes, you can have a natural talent for running. Running will then be easier for you than others. However, anyone, natural talent or no, will get out of it what they put in. And that applies to anything in life, not just running. 

What did I put into it? Half an hour a day, five to six days a week. Forty miles per month, 480 miles a year. Running in snow and ice and anywhere from ten to ninety degrees Fahrenheit. 

This is starting to sound like a brag-fest, and that's not what I want. The point I'm trying to make is that you--yes, you--will get out of it what you put in. Even if you have no "natural stride," even if your legs are so short you have to hem petite pants to fit, even if you're massively out of shape. You will get out of it what you put in. 

And don't forget, that goes for everything in life, not just running. 

I Made A Thing.

The armrest remote control holder I had suddenly decided it no longer wanted to remain on the armrest, so I decided to make my own. I looked at a few patterns online, got a few ideas, and went to work. 

Ta-da!

I'm going to attempt to give you some basic instructions to make one of your own, if you find yourself so inclined. Unfortunately, I had this brainwave 3/4 of the way through making the second one, so of course I don't have many supporting pictures. But here goes:

Supplies:

Sewing machine (you can hand-sew this but it will take you forever)

Fabric, two colors. I bought three-and-a-half yards of the main color (brown) and three of the accent color (striped) and had enough to make two of these with plenty of fabric left over. Which was good, because I screwed the first one up :-)

Thread

Marbles

Scissors

Optional but recommended: seam ripper

Because this is going to be holding a lot of weight, I doubled each piece of fabric so that the end result was double sided. So, you will need to cut pieces in the following sizes:

Main color: 2 pieces, 36" by 14". You may need to adjust the length according to the size of your couch or chair arm; my couch arm is a bit overstuffed. The goal is to have it hang over so you can reach the remotes comfortably, and so you can stuff the other, soon-to-be-marble-filled end between the cushions to hold it in place. 

Accent color: 2 pieces 11" by 14", 2 pieces 10" by 14". 

Lay the two pieces of the main color together with the wrong sides facing each other. Pin them together with a 1" hem folded around all edges and sew. Set aside. 

Now, take the 11" pieces and lay them with right sides facing each other, pin together without a foldover hem, and sew around, leaving a four-inch gap on one side. Pull fabric inside-out through hole, so that the right side of the fabric is now on the outside. Fold edges of the gap inside (so that it matches evenly) and sew hole shut (like a pillow, if you're familiar with sewing.) 

Follow the same instructions for the 11" pieces for the 10" ones.

Now, here's where it gets a little tricky. Lay the 10" joined piece on top of the 11" joined piece, with the bottom edges lined up. If you left the gap to pull the fabric on one of the long edges, make sure those go on the bottom. The 14" edge is going to be the horizontal edge. Now, sew one vertical line through both pieces, 4" from the left edges,  from the bottom to the top of the 10" piece, and another 4" from the right edge, leaving a 4" space in the middle. This forms the beginning of your remote control pockets. 

Lay these pieces on top of the main color piece's right side (the one without the hem wrapped over it) with the bottoms matched up. Now that the hems have all been sewn, they should all be approximately the same width. Sew around edge of sides and bottom, leaving top edge of accent piece unsewn to form a large pocket. Make sure you sew over the edges of the 10" piece as well, so that the 10" piece now forms three pockets. 

Now, at the opposite end of the main piece, fold approximately 3 1/2" around the back (the side without the pockets) pin, and sew the long edge and one of the sides, leaving one side open. Fill this small pocket with the marbles, and then sew closed. This weighted edge will be tucked between the arm and the cushion, to keep the remote holder securely in place.

Voila! You have hopefully, in spite of my poorly illustrated instructions, managed to create a remote control organizer. Enjoy!

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